Miscalculated Risk

"When the right time comes,
I'll be wanting to be with you.
Forever."

Third day of eid, I was having my pbf (banking& finance) test. I admit I didn't put in enough effort for it. I won't try to blame the raya preparations, that late night geylang-hopping for dad's baju kurung or even the 'till morning' visits to my relative's house. I have only myself to blame. I was so tired and out of my shell that my brain simply ceased to standby. The test was not even hard, it was predictable but I mistakenly jumbled up the formula. I knew I had it right but one interest rate should be over the other. Let's just say I made a miscalculation. Not enough, I made an assumption or what my friends told me that there will be no essays, just calculations. Stock prices, bond prices, future value, present value; that sort of thing. So I was suprised to see two questions stating to discuss on the four commonly limitations of the internal rate of return. You wouldn't want me to get started on that.

There's always another try but really I won't want to make the same mistake during exams. If I screw up, I definitely screw up big time. My dearest mom has been so paranoid when she heard about her friend's daughter's friend (you know how mom get their info), failed her exams twice which resulted her to dropout of her course. Its hard to assure my mom that it might be different for my case. I guess I just have to prove to her my worth. Lately she's been so cynical over matters that do and do not concern her. Funny, entertaining but can be a tad lengthy sometimes. No matter what, I still love to irritate her.

The neon sign for my love life has been blinking with the slogan of "absence makes the heart grows fonder". As a prove, the sms'es has been about 'I'm missing you' for the past few weeks. I guess it's hard when you know you want it but you just can't have it yet. Truthfully challenging, and I always end up a notch sadder just at the thoughts of him. I do met him on the eve of raya but that was that. I should be contented but the idea just doesn't seem to stick on my cerebral. God, I'm singing soulmate by natasha now.

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone